Along with this birthday card,
a couple pieces of advice:
1) Forget about the past.
you can't change it. 2) Forget
about the present. I didn't
get you one.
*******
It's your birthday, do stuff
your not supposed to do.
Happy Birthday
*******
If you wind up at one of those
resturants where all the waiters
gather around you and sing
"Happy Birthday," remember,
it could be worse...You could
be one of the waiters.
Happy Birthday!
*******
Take every birthday with a grain
of salt...This works much better
if the salt accompanies a large
Margarita.
Happy Birthday!
*******
The secret of an enjoyable birthday
can be found in achieving balance...
forkful of cake, spoonful of ice cream,
forkful of cake, spoonful of ice cream...
Happy Birthday!
*******
How To Stay Young:
Drinking 8 to 10 glasses of water
each day will keep your skin looking
young and vibrant...And running to
the bathroom at every mall, grocery
store, and gas station in turn will
burn more calories, too. Double bonus!
Happy Birthday!
*******
The Birthday Rules:
Stay cute, Wish big.
Never let anyone
count your candles.
Happy Birthday!
*******
Some guy's got it and some
guy's don't...and you're
definitely one of the Got-it's!
Happy Birthday!
*******
I wanted to get you something
totaly impractial for your
birthday, but you already
have a husband.
Happy Birthday!
*******
Surprise!
Sure it's late... but that's just
to catch you off-guard!
Happy Belated Birthday!
*******
"It's your birthday...Hope you
laugh until cake and ice cream
come out of your nose!
*******
It's your birthday!
take it easy! Relax!
Just pretend you're at work!
*******
So many candles...
so little cake!
Happy Birthday!
*******
29 AGAIN???
Talk about recycling!!
Happy Birthday
*******
Another Birthday?
before you start feeling
old and depressed,
Just keep this in mind...
I have panty hose older
than you!!
Happy Birthday
*******
You're not getting older...
You're getting another
year to shop!
Happy Birthday!
*******
I just can't wait to watch you
blow out all your birthday
candles. It's one of the very
few times in my life I still get
to hear heavy breathing.
Happy Birthday!
*******
I just want you to know
that the ONLY people
I send birthday cards to
are attractive, intelligent
and incredibly sexy people...
Merry Christmas!
*******
Getting this birthday card
shouldn't surprise you...
...unless you were expecting
a present of course!!
Happy Birthday!
*******
I hope they don't call the fire
department when they see the
smoke from all those candles!
Happy Birthday!
*******
Don't think of yourself as old,
think of yourself as experienced.
Happy Birthday
*******
Another year older is much
better than the alternative.
Happy Birthday!
*******
May all your birthday
dreams come true...
...especially the tall,
dark, handsome ones!
Happy Birthday!
*******
Happy Birthday
You're how old?
You look so lifelike!
*******
Smile!
It's your birthday.
Laugh!
This is your present.
*******
As we grow older, we quit
getting visits from Santa
and the Tooth Fairy.
The Big Butt Fairy visits
us every year though,
Just like clockwork.
Happy Birthday!
*******
Sick and tired of all the
sarcastic cards you've
been getting that joke
about your ______th
birthday...
frankly, that's not
surprising! The sense
of humor is the first to go.
Happy Birthday!
*******
Happy Birthday to
one of my dearest
friends
(notice how I left
out "oldest"?)
*******
This has got to be your
best birthday ever!
Just think of all the
practice you've had!
Happy Birthday
Have a Wonderful Day
*******
At birthday time,
it's good to remember
our friends.
Actually, it's good
to remember anything!
Happy Birthday!
*******
We heard you were
celebrating another
birthday...Well, maybe
celebrating isn't
exactly the right word.
Happy Birthday!
*******
When it comes to
celebrating a birthday,
there's only one way
to be!
...Funatical!!
Happy Birthday!
*******
Hope your birthday
finds you in the chips!
...especially the chocolate kind!
Happy Birthday!
*******
Wanted to send you something
really nice for your birthday...
...but the darn machine just
kept taking my quarters.
Happy Birthday!
*******
Remember when Hippie
meant a group of people...
and not the lower half of
your body?
Happy Birthday!
*******
Life is short...
open your presents early!
Happy Birthday!
*******
Another birthday?
I sure hope I look as
good when I'm YOUR age!
But why worry so far ahead?
Happy Birthday!!
*******
Heard you're celebrating
a belated birthday this year--
Bet all those other fools
sent cards on time!
Happy Birthday!!
*******
I'm sorry I missed your birthday...
you've had so many I've lost track.
*******
You know you're getting older when...
...You know all the answers but
nobody asks you any questions.
Happy Birthday
*******
It's your birthday, and anything
you want to do is OK by me...
...I've heard how cranky old
people get when they don't
get their way!
Happy Birthday
*******
Another Birthday and you're still
in geat shape! Proves clean living
is over rated, doesn't it?
Happy Birthday
*******
We can tell we're getting older
by how much movies have
changed since our youth.
There's more sex...
more violence...
...and for you,
there's sound!
Happy Birthday
*******
Birthdays are like old underwear.
They tend to creep up on you.
Happy Birthday
*******
So it's your birthday--
don't be blue. Only old
ladies can wear their
hair that color.
Happy Birthday
*******
As we get older, we often
experience a loss of bounce
and shape. Think we can
get some mousse for our bodies?
Happy Birthday
*******
According to color analysis
charts, ours is the time in
life for silver in our hair,
gold in our teeth... and
lead in our pants.
Happy Birthday1
*******
If you're going to celebrate
your birthday by doing
something wild and disgraceful
that you'll be sorry for the next
morning. Take my advise...
...sleep late.
*******
Another birthday and you've
still got it! Don't worry. It
should clear up with the
proper medication.
Happy Birthday
*******
If I won the lottery on your
birthday, I'd share the winnings
with you! ...just like I'd keep my
job, continue to pump my own
gas, and stay as sweet as I am!
Happy Birthday
*******
Let's share a birthday hug right now...
...before you realize there's no gift!
Happy Birthday
*******
In honor of your birthday,
I rented a limousine!
Look for me about ten
o'clock. I'll wave as I drive by.
Happy Birthday
*******
Instead of buying you a birthday
present this year, I decided that
I'd make a donation to the needy
in your name....And I REALLY
need a new outfit.
Happy Birthday
*******
That piece of cake your're about
to eat is loaded with fat and sugar,
laden with calories, and, could,
theoretically, take years off your
life span...
...If you don't want it, can I have it?
Happy Birthday
*******
Careful how you handle this card!
There's a hundred dollar bill inside
for your birthday...
...that's what you call an 'inside joke'!!
Happy Birthday
*******
Have a happy birthday because
you'll never be this young again...
But be careful because you've
never been this old before.
*******
You don't look too bad for
someone your age. Of course,
I don't see too good for
someone my age.
Happy Birthday
*******
A Birthday's time to
forget dieting!
...let the hips fall
where they may!
Happy Birthday
*******
I found the absolutely perfect
birthday gift for you. I mean,
it was one-of-a-kind. It was YOU!
Then, I turned my back for a
second, and someone else
snatched it up!
Geez, those garage sales
can be vicious.
*******
